Who is this?
Hillary went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, [...]
Dont Overlook Unwrittent Rules
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way.
With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men.
The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind.
The ensign’s [...]
How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three.
One to screw it in
and
two to hold his pants up.
What do you call a ghost’s mother and father?
What do you call a ghost’s mother and father?
Transparents!
P To Bring Up The Program Manager
Tech Support: “O.K. Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: “I don’t have a ‘P’.”
Tech: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
Tech: “‘P’ on your keyboard, [...]
Living In Tudor Times
History teacher: John would you have liked to live in Tudor times?
John: Oh yes sir! I’d have loved it
History teacher: Why?
John: Because they would have had 500 years less history to learn.
New Mother
A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food.
They are watching people walk down the street.
The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she’s too fatty.
Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman.
Again the father refused saying that she’s to skinny.
After a while the son pointed [...]
Are his flashers on ?
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph. “Hey,” asked the brunette at the wheel, ” do ya see any cops following us?”
The blonde turned around for a long look. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Damn!” cursed the brunette. “Are his flashers on?”
The blonde turned around again. “Yup… nope… yup… [...]
No More Beer Any More !
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Beer for me, beer for you, and beer for everyone who is in the bar now.”
After drinking, the man starts walking out of the bar.
“Hey, what about the payment?” yells the bartender.
“I have no money,” answers the man.
The bartender hears that and beats the [...]
Who Is The Mightiest Of All Jungle Animals?
There was this tiger, who woke up one morning, and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tiger: GREAAAAAAT).
Anyway, he just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him:
“WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?”
And this poor quaking little monkey replied:
“You are of course, no [...]