Quote On Angels
We are like children,
who stand in need of masters to enlighten us and direct us;
and
God has provided for this,
by appointing his angels to be our teachers and guides.
Quote On Action
Action itself,
so long as I am convinced that it is right action,
gives me satisfaction.
Quote On Achievement
All great achievements require time.
Highway Collision
A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it [...]
Improper Language
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.”
“I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.”
“Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
It’s Humbug
Thinking he would play a trick on the biology teacher, Alec glued a beetle’s head to a caterpillar’s body and very carefully attached some butterfly wings, ant’s legs and a fly’s tail. The teacher was very impressed.
“I’ve never seen anything like this, Alec” he said. “Tell me, did it hum when you caught it?”
“Why yes, [...]
Lab Mice !
Mouse One: I’ve trained that crazy science teacher at last!
Mouse Two: How have you done that?
Mouse One: I don’t know how, but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell, he gives me a bit of cheese!
Prinicipal’s Daughter
BOY: Isn’t the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY: No.
GIRL: I’m the principal’s daughter.
BOY: And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Thank goodness!
Getting Dirty
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground then you are.
Whats the difference between a teacher and a train?
Whats the difference between a teacher and a train?
A train says “Chew Chew!”
While
A teacher says “Spit it out the gum!”