Something Short
Teacher: If “can’t” is short for “cannot,” what is “don’t” short for?
Student: Doughnut.
Homework Guy
Dad: What did you learn in school today, son?
Son: I learned that those sums you did for me were wrong!
Reciting The Tables
Teacher: Recite your tables to me, Joan.
Joan: Dining table, kitchen table, bedside table …
Pockets Full
“Frank,” said the weary maths teacher,” if you had seven dollars in your pocket, and seven dollars in another pocket, what would you have?”
“Someone else’s trousers on!”
Thing Of Time !
Headmaster: John you should have been here half an hour ago!
John: Why sir, what happened?
A Hundred Meter Champion
John: I’m the school champion for the hundred meters.
Tom: What do you do it in?
John: Oh, shorts, a vest and spikes.
How To Cross The Road?
Lollypop lady: John, why are you trying to cross the road here? There’s a zebra crossing just 50 yards up the road.
John: Well I hope it is having more luck than I am!
Swimming Lesson
Games master: Is it better to swim on an empty stomach or a full one?
John: Neither Sir, It’s best to swim on water.
Which Is Further Away?
Teacher: John which is further away? The sun or South America?
John: South America is further away, Sir.
Teacher: Don’t be silly John!
John: But Sir, you can see the sun but you can’t see South America.
How To Spell
Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi?
Student: The river or the state Miss?