Say You Love Me
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me…
Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?
GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?
BOY : What time was it?
Did you miss me while I was away?
GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away?
BOY : Were you away?
May I Hold Your Hand?
BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy.
Since We Met….
BOY : Since we met, I can’t eat or drink…
GIRL : Why not ??
BOY : I’m broke.
Knowledge Pill
A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says “Here’s a pill for English literature.” The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
“What [...]
Kid Science Quotes
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain’s contention that the ‘most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Question: What is one horsepower?
Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy [...]
College Poem
I am a college student.
I’ve missed class to watch Jenny Jones. I’ve partied until 7 in the morning. I live for Southpark and Sportscenter.
I watch Jerry Springer religiously.
I’m broke. I’ve spent over $300 at one time buying text books. I spend that much in a month on beer. I drink ’til the sun comes up. [...]
Stock Room Or Fort Knox
As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day.
The school where he had been a [...]
Climate
Teacher: Use the word “climate” in a sentence.
Student: I have a cherry tree in the backyard and my parents won’t lemme climate.