World Of Toofaani

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.  Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?  I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!    

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE – “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside -I just finished cleaning!”

My mother taught me LOGIC – “Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT – “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY – “Keep crying and I’ll “give” you something to cry about.”

Erma Bombeck 

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

By Angela Jones

1. You plan your day according to when Sesame Street is on. 2. You have signed a check with a crayon. 3. You find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car. 4. You wipe other kids’ noses. 5. You have accidentally brushed your teeth with Desitin. 6. You have caught spit-up in your hand. 7. You leave for a date with your husband carrying a diaper bag instead of your purse. 8. You have memorized the entire lineup of Saturday morning cartoons. 9. You have finally paid for all of your groceries and are heading out of the doors when you realize one of your kids has lost a shoe somewhere in the store. 10. You can recite Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs and Ham by heart. 11. You let your baby sit in his dirty diaper until Oprah is over. 12. You have shared a fifteen-minute conversation about your baby with a complete stranger at the grocery store. 13. You filled up your child’s baby book before her first tooth appeared. 14. You silently curse people if they call during naptime. 15. You forgot your mother-in-law’s first name because you now only refer to her as “Grandma.” 16. You arrange your travel itinerary based on McDonald’s Playland locations. 17. You are just as surprised when you sleep through the night as when your child does. 18. You consider the person who invented the Sippy Cup a genius. 19. You see a mom from your child’s playgroup at the mall and know her son’s name but not hers. 20. You consider it a major triumph if you shower by noon. 21. You justify every excessive crying spell with teething. 22. You pick up the phone and call your mother when your baby rolls over for the first time. 23. You have kept your favorite babysitter a secret from other mothers in your playgroup. 24. You have your pediatrician’s telephone number on speed-dial. 25. You own the entire Baby Einstein DVD collection. 26. You find yourself humming the “Rubber Duckie” song in the shower. 27. You have dressed your baby in whatever is on top of the clean laundry pile. 28. You cry at Johnson & Johnson commercials. 29. You have considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep. 30. You see your parents in a whole new light. 31. You consider parenting to be the best job in the world.

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

By Marion Bond West 

I had always wanted to be a mother.  In my youthful days, I could imagine running through a field of daisies with my children.  My long hair would fall in great swirls about my face, radiant with motherhood.  My children would look up adoringly at me, and the sun would shine warmly on us.

But I found real motherhood not like that at all.  One day I took my four children to a field, even though I didn’t have time to take the curlers out of my short stubborn hair.

Long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the treetop, ate the apples, and took a nap under the shadow. He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by, the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree every day.

One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad.