As a poor student, these are things you definitely would NOT want to see happen at the ATM…
* You go to get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says: “Not worth wasting paper.”, and ejects your card.
* You try to get a balance inquiry, and the screen says: “Account not found.” and keeps your card.
* You insert your card, and try to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out your shredded card.
A patient was at her doctor’s office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, “I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live.”
The patient asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?”
The doctor replied, “Marry an accountant.”
“Will that make me live longer?” asked the patient.
“No,” said the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand.
Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?”