It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is. Flowers.” “That’s right!” the boy said, “But, how did you know?” “Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.
The next pupil was the sweet shop owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.” “That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl. “Oh, just a wild guess,” said the teacher.
A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says “Here’s a pill for English literature.” The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
“What else do you have?” asks the student.
The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain’s contention that the ‘most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
I am a college student. I’ve missed class to watch Jenny Jones. I’ve partied until 7 in the morning. I live for Southpark and Sportscenter. I watch Jerry Springer religiously. I’m broke. I’ve spent over $300 at one time buying text books. I spend that much in a month on beer. I drink ’til the sun comes up. I wake up 10 minutes before class. I fall asleep 10 minutes into class.
As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day.
The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox.
Teacher: Use the word “climate” in a sentence.
Student: I have a cherry tree in the backyard and my parents won’t lemme climate.
HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? TEACHER: Of course not. HAROLD: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground then you are.
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. WILLY: Me!