Have You Done Anything Yet?
“Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade.”
“Don’t panic, I’m coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?”
“Yea, I shaved with the electric razor.”
Archive for the ‘Doctors’ Category
After The Operation….
“Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”
Second Opinion
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
“You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
“What took you so long to answer?”
“I was in bed.”
“What were you [...]
Leave Me Alone
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.”
“Well, if it’s just because of them, I’d rather pay for them if you just leave me alone.”
Delivery Time
A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” the doctor queries.
“No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!”
A Short History Of Medicine
Patient: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”
1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”
1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is [...]
Three Patients
At a doctors surgery one morning a patient arrives complaining of serious backache. The doctor examines him and asks him”What the hell did you do to your back?”
The patient replies “You know that I work for a local night club? Today morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my [...]
Who Pays????
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and was taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was quickly reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. “Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” the nun said while patting his hand. “We do [...]
Shaking Hands
“Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!”
“Do you drink a lot?”
“Not really – I spill most of it!”
