Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck.  Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck.  Scared, they left the scene and drove home.  With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain.  With their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper.

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.”

The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”

“Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.”

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, “Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?” The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said – “Well yeah, if that’s what they are, I never heard of circle flies”.

I know I was speeding but I was trying to keep up with traffic .

Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are!!!

Shared By : Eric Thames