Mr. Starr: I am Starr, Star I are. I’m a brilliant barri-star. I’m here to ask, as you’ll soon see, Did you grope Miss Lew-in-ski? Did you grope her in your house? Did you grope beneath her blouse? Did she give you gifts and ties? Were you spied by prying eyes?
Mr. Clinton: I did not do that here or there! I did not do that anywhere! I did not do that in a chair! I went not near her giant hair! I did not join — even for fun — The Mile High Club in Air Force One. So stow your feathers and your tar. I did not do her, Starr you are!
Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees “The President Must Die” written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty pissed off. He storms into his security staff’s HQ, and yells “Somebody wrote a death threat in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Son-of-a-bitch had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where were you guys?!” The security guys stay silent and stare ashamedly at the floor.
Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, “Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhere else.”
When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied, “I don’t know. I never had one.”
Clinton’s mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered.
Clinton is doing the work of 3 men: Larry, Curly, and Moe!
Hillary went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the White House. When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well, they rang the Oval Office and Bill answered.
Hillary went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the White House. When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well, they rang the Oval Office and Bill answered.