I DON’T KNOW HOW THEY WROTE THIS WITH A STRAIGHT FACE …
This was a real memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences.
‘If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.
#include<STD ISD PCO.h> #include<love.h> #define Cute beautiful_lady  Â
main() { Â Â Â goto college; Â Â Â scanf(“100%”,&ladies);
   if(lady ==Cute )        line++;    while( !reply )    {           printf(“I Love U”);                                               scanf(“100%”,&reply);
Our FRIEND WAS chatting with a female – Online chat.
(Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC’s)
Hero : Hey…GM (Good Morning)… How r u doing today?
Female: VGM…Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero : wow…am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female: Yep…me too feel the same…Brb (be right back)’ll get some Coffee.
What do you call it when you’ve been bitten by a big computer bug?
A Megabyte!
Dear Bill Gates,
We have got a computer in our home and we face some problem, which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to the Internet we planned to open an email account. But whenever we fill the form of Hotmail, in password field only * comes. But in rest of the fields whatever we typed comes but only in the password field the * is coming..
We checked with the hardware vendor and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we have opened the email account with password *****. But I request u to check this as we our self don’t know what is the password!!!
What is computer’s favorite food?
Chips.
A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate:
“I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities.”
Back came the answer: “Marry a penguin.”
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was running it under “Windows.”
The woman responded, “No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine,”
A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey.
The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.
“The one on the left costs $500,” says the store owner.
“Why so much?” asks the customer.
“Because it can program in C,” answers the store owner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told, “That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology.”
How many IBM PC owners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but he’ll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.