Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, “Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn’t turn up.”

“Sure,” they  said, “You’re welcome.”

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked  the newcomer, “What do you do for a living?”

I’m a hit man,”  was the reply.

“You’re joking!” was the  response.

“No, I’m not,” he said, reaching into  his golf bag, and pulling  out a beautiful Martini sniper’s rifle with a large telescopic sight.

“Here are my tools.”

“That’s a beautiful telescopic sight,” said the other>friend, “Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.”

So he picked up the rifle and looked through  the sight in the  direction of his house.

“Yeah, I can see my house all right.  This sight is fantastic. I  can see right in the window.”

“Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see  she’s naked!! Wait a minute! that’s my neighbor in there with her … He’s naked, too!!!

He turned to the hit man, “How much do you charge for a hit?”

“I’ll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.”

“Can you do two for me  now?”

“Sure, it will cost you two thousand – what do you want?”

“First, shoot my wife, she’s always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.”

“Then the neighbor, he’s a friend of mine, so  just shoot his d**k off to teach him a lesson.”

The hit man took  the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

“Are  you going to do it or not?” said the friend impatiently.

“Just be  patient,” said the hit man calmly, “I think I can save you a grand  here…..”

Shared By : Harshdeep Singh